Dengan nama Allah Yang Maha Pemurah Lagi Maha Mengasihani.
Segala puji bagi Allah.
I realized that I haven’t blog for so long. And if there’s even one reader who doesn’t know of my whereabouts and wonders of this hiatus, let me just say that I have my reasons.
For one year, since I’ve join A**in, my life has completely turned topsy-turvey. Nak makan and solat pun rushing. Life has become a roller coaster ride. I’m always short of breathe. Nervous, anxious, rushing to finish off whatever that I’m doing. Balik keja at odd hours. Kena marah on daily basis. Never got time for myself or other people. Dissapoint people who are counting on me. The job literally eat me up alive. Until the day I said enough is enough and I need to regain back my… sanity.
I decided to leave, but I think it’s wise if I waited until the bonus came out. It was January and suddenly a thought struck me. I’ve been living in sins for so long and I really need a heavy-duty cleanse, or a retreat from this material and posed life. I wasn’t so pious pun before, hardly wear tudung outside, missed prayers, doesn’t matter shake hands with male clients etc. I think I need to reinvent my life for the better, in terms of my position and duty as a Muslimah. I vowed that if I got my bonus, I’ll go perform Umrah and try to seek the missing that I’m looking for. Alhamdulillah my dear friend Syakira is with me throughout this journey. I’d be lost without her.
Bonus did came out, and I was one of the highest payee. I decided to stick with my decision regardless. The company was sorta stunned when I handed over my resignation letter. They thought I was happy there, they just thought wrong. I’ve become a bitter person and I realized I don’t have time to lead the dunia life well, let alone the after life.
I keep to my niat and register for Umrah trip. The journey was the most beautiful journey I’ve ever endured. I don’t know if there’s any one person that went there and never changed for the better.
I’m blessed that Allah gave me a second chance in life.
Second chance to remember Him every living second by berzikir. I hardly remember Allah by berzikir before, with sole excuse I was too busy.
Second chance to remember Nabi Muhammad saw. I was too egoist to admit that He is our role model and we should lead the life according to His sunnah.
Second chance to pray on time and never miss any prayers. I hardly pray on time and sometimes just take for granted solat if it’s not convenience for me to perform it. Masha Allah..
Second chance to perform ibadah sunat every chance that I got. I barely do solat sunnah Dhuha, Rawatib, Hajat, Tahajjud before.
Second chance to embrace Islam by reading Islamic materials and sirah Nabi and para sahabat. I normally read English fictions and never spend my money on Islamic materials. Now I realized how shallow I was.
Second chance to understand Islam better by studying the tafsir al-Quran. I never find the time to understand Islam wholly by reading the meaning in al-Quran. Answers to all questions in the whole universe lies in there.
Second chance to recite al-Quran daily. I gave excuses that I’m too busy to recite al-Quran whilst I always find time to watch tv and surf the net.
Second chance to be a good Muslimah in terms of appearance, verbal or doings. I don’t care about how I dressed, how I talked, how I behaved before. Now I know that there are things that I can do and cannot do.
Second chance to be a better daughter, sister and employee. Insyallah.
Second chance in life to be a better Muslimah. Thank You Allah for giving me Hidayah and second chance in life. This is your greatest gift…