Who knew an hour rendezvous could give a lifetime impact.
I knew her during our studies in Uni and she became my bestfriend (from day-1 orientation) ever since. She’s well-known for her taste for clothes and branded stuffs, her selection of music, her out-of-the-box thinking and her bubbly yet ignorant personality.
She didn’t graduted though, she decided to open up a business backhome and later shut it down because she said she wanted to get married. She married at a very young age, when we were still pursuing our studies.
We went to her wedding all the way across Peninsular (in disagreement, perhaps) but wished her all the happiness in her life.
I always made it a point catching up with her every once in a while, at least on a quarterly basis. In those 4 years, she had lived with the demanding in-laws, then moved out to a residence nearby her in-law (hubby’s one mama’s boy), conceived a beautiful baby boy, moved out to a further area from in-law, changing jobs in between, did extra hour to accomodate the family’s needs.
She admit she didn’t have a life. Her husband deprived her from meeting any of her friends, let alone have some fun. Husband also expect her to assume function as a slave, be it day or night. She suffered a lot by her husband’s idiocracy.
Husband sliced her thinner by day. Her savings being wiped out from the bank, she has to handle the house chores and bear the household expenditures. Husband was there in figure, but he’s like a dead man walking. Everything is being burdened on top of her shoulder. She doesn’t anymore have appetite over scrumptious foods, let alone desire for new clothes and entertainment. Or perhaps she still has all of that, it’s just that she has limitations (financially) over them. And husband was too stupid to notice any of that.
On top of that, she had a miscarriage and a heart condition that requires a surgery.
I asked, why don’t you just leave everything behind and walk through that exit door?
She said that as badly she wanted to get out of the spiderweb, she resigned to her choice, that was to get married to him. She thought that by marrying, she would turn over a new leave and start anew. Who knew that the reality meant to be otherwise? Plus, she just doesn’t have a heart. She loves her son too much to see him growing up without a father. Yes, at first she did cry buckets. But later on, she learnt that she has to be strong and keep on being stronger, for his son’s sake. Thus, she kept her mouth shut and lived her life. This year, next and ever.
I don’t pity her. I am amazed by her. She showed to me that whatever that is incoming is your battle to fight. Let the whole world mock you, but it’s up to you to make your own choice and be committed to it. If the world gives u a lemon, you made a lemonade out of it.
At that very young age, she has given up hope to mend the broken heart. She just know how to deal with it.
*Miss Gosh-sneakers, I love you. I just love you. I wish I could salvage whatever that is left within you and cast you away from all the misery, but I know that I don’t have the power. I pray that your heart surgery goes well. InsyaAllah*
Ps: Don’t pursue happiness peeps, just live with it.