Owh, pls bear. It’s the semi-annual relationship pep-talk again 🙂
She asked me; how did you get rid of this feeling? (By feeling, she means the nausea, sadness, anger that she had to go through)
Well dear, let me tell you something, I haven’t..(at least one part of it)
Going through a horrible break-up, it is normal to being tailgated by that hatred, anger and resentment feelings. When we are able get back on our two feets (my approved wallowing time is only up to one month!), then there comes the forgive, forget and letting go part. The forgiving part; I don’t think we woman have problems with it, but the forgetting and the letting go part is the hardest of ’em all.
It doesn’t matter how long you were in the relationship, be it 7 years, 5 years or 3 months-the amount of years doesn’t give weigh anymore. The heartache and pain are the same once the break-up takes place, no exception (well, unless you’re one lady robot from somewhere lah kan?) 🙂
But, how you deal with it? This unpleasant feelings that haunt you every awaken minutes?
Yes, we try our best, we go out. We had fun with the girlfriends, we went on a vacation, we make ourselves busy at work but we would be caught lying if we say that “I’m over him” already. Coming back to an empty room, we’ll remember the hollow space in our hearts, and the trip down memory lane surely will replay itself in our mind over and over again like a broken disc.
But dear, bear in mind that the keyword in defying the matter is: remember all the bad things that he did (unless he’s one fallen angel la kan?) and never question yourself if you could ever be better for him etcetera.
Dont blame yourself. All this while, you thought he’s the one and you close your eyes cause you’re in love. People are blinded when we’re in love, but our judgement are never wrong. You’re on the right path but maybe loving him too much (who don’t know how to return your love full-heartedly) have derailed you to the wrong side of the right but don’t ever, ever blame yourself. Not even teeny weeny bit. Are love and passion considered a crime? Find me guilty, then 🙂
When the time comes, the love you once had and the resentment you set in your head will poof, gone and the only thing left would be that indifference feeling. When you flip through the old stuffs and pictures of you and him, you can just laugh and reminisce the memory, without even dropping a tear. Then you know that you’ve already forgive him and trying to let go. I know it’s hard but time will heal old wounds.
The forgetting part? Unless you are capable to reformat your brain, trust me it will stick there as long as you live. So, why bother? 🙂
There’s no one you can trust when you’re
And the best of your days
Will all vanish into haze when you’re
And you wish you could quit cause
You’re really sick of it but you’re
~Weezer We Are All In Love~