Insha Allah


If I tell you something, you might give me ‘the look’ or even shake your head in disbelief.

Honestly, I never understand the concept of “Insha Allah”. At least, the old me never did.

I remember that it always peeved me when I ask people whether they’re coming and they RSVP-ed with an “Insha Allah”. I thought it was a safe answer for either “I’ll be coming” or “I might not be coming”. I need a definite answer. I hate to be left in the dark without knowing either it’s a yes, or a no.

Little did I know that it is impossible to say “yes” or “no” to something that we DON’T KNOW. Whether it will happen or not. Yes, that’s the stupid and arrogant me. Always wanted people to do as I said, without taking into account that the universe is administered by one superpower that is ALLAH. Not mine, obviously. But I always like to take matter in my own hand. It’s simple, it’s either yes, or not. Either you’re interested, or not.

I used to be mad when people say “Insha Allah” when I ask them whether they’ll do it or not. Whether they’ll come or not. Whether they’ll go or not. Astaghfirullah, I was so naive and arrogant, I seek your forgiveness Ya Rabb..

Now, when being asked whether I’ll do it or not, whether I’ll come or not, whether I’ll go or not, my answer will always be “Insha Allah”. And I understand when they get mad and asked “Tell me the real thing, are u coming or not? I need to confirm my guest list blahblah”. Maybe they still don’t understand the concept of “Insha Allah”. I don’t blame them, I was like that before. It’s not you’re trying to defy God, it’s just that you think some things are beyond your control.

Trust me, none of them AREN’T.

If I say YES I’LL COME to your event and for all I know, I die on the way. I would have broken the promise, innit? That would be a shame..

Take your time to ponder. Allah is always great. There’s always a reason for everything and you will fond solace when you find the answer..

Nuzul al-Quran

Terdapat dua pendapat mengikut ahli sejarah, termasuk pendapat para ahli hadis, tentang Al-Quran yang diturunkan (diwahyukan) kepada Nabi Muhammad saw.

Pendapat pertama menyatakan bahawa Al-Quran diturunkan pada malam Isnin tanggal 17 Ramadhan, 13 tahun sebelum hijrah (6 Ogos 610 M). Pendapat kedua pula menyatakan bahawa Al-Quran telah diturunkan pada malam Isnin, tanggal 24 Ramadhan (13 Ogos 610 M). Pendapat yang pertama adalah berdasarkan ayat 41 dari Surah Al-Anfaal, manakala pendapat kedua dasarnya adalah ayat 1 Surah Al-Qadr dan ayat 1-4 Surah Ad-Dukhan.

Walaupun tradisi Nuzul Al-Quran telah lazim diperingati pada tanggal 17 Ramadhan, namun sesungguhnya pendapat kedua adalah lebih kuat dan lebih mungkin benarnya. Ini adalah kerana malam Lailatul Qadar yang dipercayai sebagai malam turunnya Al-Quran bukanlah terjadi pada tanggal 17 Ramadhan.

Adapun dalam firman Allah SWT pada ayat 41 surah Al-Anfaal, yaitu: “…jika kamu beriman kepada Allah dan apa-apa yang Kami turunkan kepada hamba Kami (Nabi Muhammad saw) pada hari Furqan,iaitu di hari bertemunya dua pasukan (diperang Badar, antara muslimin dan kafirin)…” (TTQ 8 : 41) Ayat tersebut tidak ada sangkut-pautnya dengan Nuzul Al-Quran.

Tetapi sebenarnya ayat tersebut merupakan penjelasan tentang hukum pembahagian harta rampasan perang (seperti yang terdapat pada awal ayat tersebut). ” Ketahuilah sesungguhnya apa saja yang dapat kamu peroleh sebagai rampasan perang, maka sesungguhnya seperlima untuk Allah, RasulNya, kerabat-kerabat (Rasul), anak-anak yatim, orang-orang miskin dan ibnussabil (orang yang sedang dalam perjalanan)…” (TTQ 8 : 41).

Dan apabila diteliti dengan lebih lanjut, yakni dengan menghubungkan hadis-hadis tentang turunnya Al-Quran, iaitu pada Lailatul-Qadar dan kelahiran Rasullullah pada hari Isnin serta pada catatan-catatan waktu di dalam takwim, maka akan diperolehi kesimpulan yang lebih tepat, iaitu Al-Quran diturunkan pada hari Isnin, malam 21 bulan Ramadhan, 13 tahun sebelum Rasullulah saw berhijrah ke Madinah.

Menurut para mufassirin, Al-Quran yang diturunkan pada malam “Lailatul Qadar” sebagaimana disebut di atas adalah Al-Quran yang turun sekaligus di “Baitul Izzah” di langit dunia. Sedangkan Al-Quran yang diturunkan ke bumi dan diterima Rasullullah sebagai wahyu terjadi secara beransur-ansur selama sekitar 23 tahun.

Adapun ayat-ayat yang pertama diturunkan (diwahyukan) kepada Nabi Muhammad saw adalah ayat 1-5 surah Al-‘Alaq.

Dan peristiwa ini terjadi ketika nabi saw sedang bertahannus (menyendiri) di Gua Hira. Sedangkan ayat Al-Quran yang terakhir sekali diturunkan adalah ayat-ayat riba iaitu ayat 278 sehingga 281 dari surah Al-Baqarah.


Second Chance

Dengan nama Allah Yang Maha Pemurah Lagi Maha Mengasihani.

Segala puji bagi Allah.

I realized that I haven’t blog for so long. And if there’s even one reader who doesn’t know of my whereabouts and wonders of this hiatus, let me just say that I have my reasons.

For one year, since I’ve join A**in, my life has completely turned topsy-turvey. Nak makan and solat pun rushing. Life has become a roller coaster ride. I’m always short of breathe. Nervous, anxious, rushing to finish off whatever that I’m doing. Balik keja at odd hours. Kena marah on daily basis. Never got time for myself or other people. Dissapoint people who are counting on me. The job literally eat me up alive. Until the day I said enough is enough and I need to regain back my… sanity.

I decided to leave, but I think it’s wise if I waited until the bonus came out. It was January and suddenly a thought struck me. I’ve been living in sins for so long and I really need a heavy-duty cleanse, or a retreat from this material and posed life. I wasn’t so pious pun before, hardly wear tudung outside, missed prayers, doesn’t matter shake hands with male clients etc. I think I need to reinvent my life for the better, in terms of my position and duty as a Muslimah. I vowed that if I got my bonus, I’ll go perform Umrah and try to seek the missing that I’m looking for. Alhamdulillah my dear friend Syakira is with me throughout this journey. I’d be lost without her.

Bonus did came out, and I was one of the highest payee. I decided to stick with my decision regardless. The company was sorta stunned when I handed over my resignation letter. They thought I was happy there, they just thought wrong. I’ve become a bitter person and I realized  I don’t have time to lead the dunia life well, let alone the after life.

I keep to my niat and register for Umrah trip. The journey was the most beautiful journey I’ve ever endured. I don’t know if there’s any one person that went there and never changed for the better.

I’m blessed that Allah gave me a second chance in life.

Second chance to remember Him every living second by berzikir. I hardly remember Allah by berzikir before, with sole excuse I was too busy.

Second chance to remember Nabi Muhammad saw. I was too egoist to admit that He is our role model and we should lead the life according to His sunnah.

Second chance to pray on time and never miss any prayers. I hardly pray on time and sometimes just take for granted solat if it’s not convenience for me to perform it. Masha Allah..

Second chance to perform ibadah sunat every chance that I got. I barely do solat sunnah Dhuha, Rawatib, Hajat, Tahajjud before.

Second chance to embrace Islam by reading Islamic materials and sirah Nabi and para sahabat. I normally read English fictions and never spend my money on Islamic materials. Now I realized how shallow I was.

Second chance to understand Islam better by studying the tafsir al-Quran. I never find the time to understand Islam wholly by reading the meaning in al-Quran. Answers to all questions in the whole universe lies in there.

Second chance to recite al-Quran daily. I gave excuses that I’m too busy to recite al-Quran whilst I always find time to watch tv and surf the net.

Second chance to be a good Muslimah in terms of appearance, verbal or doings. I don’t care about how I dressed, how I talked, how I behaved before. Now I know that there are things that I can do and cannot do.

Second chance to be a better daughter, sister and employee. Insyallah.

Second chance in life to be a better Muslimah. Thank You Allah for giving me Hidayah and second chance in life. This is your greatest gift…

Mari Belajar al-Quran

So, I finally met my dream guy.

He ticked all the boxes alright [religious, waaaaaay educated than me and landed on the best job ever – did I mention good pay too?]😉

Problem is, he’s trapped in a 44-year old body and well.. is married.

Fret not. Adding up the homewrecker statistic is not high in my to-do-list. I have my own principle and I’m standing strong by it.

So, the hunting resumed :) But now, it gives me a piece of mind knowing that a guy like that exists. All these while, I thought it exists only in my wildest dream!  Heh.

Ps : Funny that I didn’t find the 2-hours rendezvous a slightest bore though I expected the worst of it! And I bet he did too:)

Ps2 : What makes me even more cair was the fact that he loves his family. Too much. Attaboy!:)

Guessing Game

Was spring cleaning earlier of the day.

I have this penchant of collecting words of wisdom, emails, letters (snail mail too!), movie ticket stubs, concert tickets from the earlier days until today (oh yes, I still patch them in my journals up till today). Scrap-book like. My brain is no computer. I’m only human, I tend to forget. But I highly believe that memories are meant to be remembered, not forgotten.

Feast your eyes with quote from real people, real enemies, real ex-(es) and real friends. No tamper being done whatsoever, anonymity remains, fret not (yours might be in one of it!). You might giggle with some of  ’em!:)


Miss E : cheer up girl, cuz sometimes ure better off without guys.they’re so irritating and can’t be relied on most of the time cuz, their minds tak tgk kiri kanan nye, pndg dpn je, takleh twist2. i know there’s someone out there for you unless he’s dead (sweat kejam gile stmnt memujuk) so you can either go looking or wait for him to knock on ur door, either way, mesti smpi gak to u one day unless (again) if he’s oredi dead.

Miss N : hey babe! i totally get what you’re saying….it’s hard to bounce back after what happened and embrace men like they’re perfect angels..so i do see why ur “picky” and conscious of your choices..i’ts only natural..only those with really low standards and true hadaps (desperadoes) would just accept any jack almost blindly. better picky now than sorry later ait hon? ;p keep on doing what u do best girl..ur spontaneity, spunk and charm will definitely catch a pair of DESERVING eyes…those traits of yours are wayyy better than just having a gorgeous face, pin-up slim body but empty air head ditsy blonde brain. im sure u agree with me..u go girl! and btw sye..you.re NOT fat!!:-)
Mrs CT : Korg la kwn trbaik ever..Hrp2 bila msg2 da kawin, we still befriend 2gether..
Mrs SK : Thanks, dear…We really look forward that baby bouncer, in fact dah rancang weekend ni nak g tgk kat Wal-Mart…alhamdulillah u nye package sampai dulu….Glad..really glad….
U ni mmg pandai bab nak buat surprise, kan….
Ok, i’ll kiss the baby for u…Nanti  bila dah balik Malaysia, u kiss la dia sendiri…:)
I was not in a good mood this morning, E* buat I geram malam td, that I tak tdo semalaman sbb merajuk ngan dia, n pg ni I buat bodo je, dia yg buat bfast, n we hardly communicate….Tp lepas dia bawak masuk ur package, I senyum lebar, sampai dah tak nampak I marah, then dia terus amik chance say sorry…. See..ur baby bouncer saves the day!!!
Mrs F : i dunno how gud tis guy is..but certainly gud enuff that made u terbuka hati.dun worry..if it’s not F* pun,now u know there is still gud person in tis world.n certainly ade bykkk lg cam dia.u juz have to be patient before finding him:)
again, u r loveable ok!!if u think ur still not cos u r not loved by
ppl yg u want they love u,welll..make urself to be loveable by them
in anyway,one thing for sure..u r loveable for me..so i love u!!:p

Mr FK : miss u so much today..i x pnh feel dis way..huhu sbb i tak pnh bercinta kot.. but it was so sweet of u nk masak tuk i..i akan ingt sampai bila2


Miss NH : Ader org proclaim that syeda is hers. Dier ckp “ mysassysyeda”…Hahahahahahhahahahahaa
Mrs WM : I can’t judge u.. cnt say whether u r stupid or not..when ppl r so deeply in luv, anythng is possible..but d ya really sure tht u luv him tht much? does he deserve 2 b loved tht much? or u r jst nt satisfied coz of wht he said n done whch makes u cnt let him go.. put urself 2gether gal.. save some ego for urself.. dnt let him takes evrythng frm u pls..


Mr AL : righttt.. and who are “WE” that spent whole morning (till 4am!) stalking my FB again? hehe..

p/s – awesome fav. music list (looks like you got yourself a stalker now) kekeke..

Mr FN : Manager I xde arini. Blh tdo..
Me : Bohoho. Suke ati je. I dh sakit kepala duduk TOM ni. Bukan nak whine, tp MN tu asyik mengamuk je.bosanla
Mr FN : Mengamuk kat suma org or u sorang jer?
Me : So far harini I je yg ade hantar draft, so mengamuk kt I jela. Damn. I hate it la.
Mr FN : Jap lagi I antar draft gak, konon2 I tersilap antar and xrealised. So ada 2 org kene marah arini😉
Me : Hmm..Mr FN being sweet again?
Ex-lecturer : I’m ok. I was browsing through the SC contact and spotted both you guy’s names in the list. I am impressed with your progress. Who would thought both of you to end up at SC. It’s no mean feat….. 
Mr ZW : u never kno dat deep inside my heart its only u. even cmne i tensen ngn u or da wat jht pn. im still thkg dat ure the greatest. still i thk dat nobody ever replace u pn wen ure gone. maybe i dont kno how to appreciate enuf. tp evry nite i will look at ur smiling face n i thk . i je yg bodoh,n i feel sory bt evrythg dat i did. im so sory ok? i miss u…
Oh, how nice for me to have kept these aspiring emails eh? I can always look back and learn from the past. And strive to be better in the future:)



Holy Buddy

I’m like a tube of adhesive glue.

I have this curse gift fetish of always wanting to bring people together. If I haven’t heard from my goodfriends for over a week, I’ll feel restless – wondering their whereabouts and status update – are they in good hands?- are they safe? – do they lead a good life as I am – are they in trouble? – or simply, are they still alive? Hence, texts and emails are in order.

I admit, I have friends who don’t give a damn to people around them. But that won’t stop me to give a damn to them. I think, that’s the ultimate recipe on why my primary school gang and I still are very close till these days. 

I can’t always expect the same will remain though. Friends; they have their own plan and arrangement. Circle of life is still there for us to go through, but I pray that this tie won’t break. I hope that even they’re not there (at my sight), they’ll remain here (in my heart).

From Syak*ra, I learnt that patience is virtue.

From Ma*sara, I learnt that even marriage is a sucks place to be in, you still brave yourself each day for the sake of your offspring and fight for the love you used to have.

From A*i, I learnt that if a thing doesn’t succeed once, put yourself together and fight again for the second time. Never giving up and dont generalize that a bitter thing will álways turn bitter again.

From F*ra, I learnt that happiness can come in the most unexpected way and shape. There’s no need to judge. Compromise is always the key.

From M*mi, I learnt that sometimes what we need in life is not more, but less. And complacent.

From N*sa, I learnt that sometimes it’s okay to let your hair down  and unleash the inner child-like in you.

From L*sa, I learnt that even how impossible it is to find love again at the oddest time, it will always come back to you in the most unconventional way.

From S*fi, I learnt that one’s words of wisdom can change one’s world.

From H*da, I learnt that life is like a bowl of cherries. You get to cherry-picked (pick the best) all the time.

From L*n, I learnt that impossible is nothing.

From E*e, I learnt that age doesn’t matter.

From Far*hW, I learnt that age doesn’t matter (Part II).

From L*za, I learnt that hardship can be a pain in the ass, but it makes you grew stronger by the day.

From Shahn*z, I learnt that even how sour the lemon that the world gives you, you can still make a sweet lemonade out of it.

From M*ra, I learnt that dreams and reality are being separated by one very thin line. You chose which world you want to be in.

From N*ni, I learnt that a thing that you thought may turn your life upside down actually can your be the best thing ever happened in your life.

From Sy*da, I learnt that happiness exists. It will reach you eventually.

I think that’s what makes me, a me. I rely on these people to make my life complete. Without their daily whinings, continuos complaining and constant pep-talk, I feel lost and empty. No, I don’t need them because I am clingy and afraid to be alone – see, I don’t really express what I really feel to friends (I can be quite a secret keeper myself), but I feed and satiate myself by their stories. Their stories (be it good or bad) made me alive, coz I learn each new thing each day.

They are my world. They rock my world.


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